A very Leavisite analysis

 For all you Gleeks out there I just have a few things to say.

1. If you stop watching Glee, the advertising revenue will decrease and investors will withdraw so that no more episodes are made.
2. If no more episodes are made then the Glee cast will be unable to destroy music old and new.
3. Without the continual destruction of classic and new music, we can put the whole Glee era behind us and pretend that it never happened. Restoring normality and credibility to the artists ruined by the schmaltzy, cheesy American singers in the programme.

When Glee was first advertised, some confused critics actually described it as an anti-dote to commercially successful films such as High School Musical. Now I don’t know if they were paid to say this or if they were confused by the content of the show, but if this was a satire, Jordon is a media shy wall-flower.

Perhaps Glee had intended to make something that did kindly mock the High School singing cheese-a-thons, but accidentally made something that embodied all that is wrong with the world today.

Glee is capitalism in its most sickening form.

Just in case you were one of the lucky ones who had managed to completely avoid the premise and subsequent products of the show it goes something like this…

High school outcasts seek solace with glee club where although they are all different through either being of ethnic minority/homosexual/of a geeky nature/a misunderstood ‘jock’, they have a common interest – singing. Then in each episode they murder/rip apart/destroy classic and popular music that fit into the particular teen angst story that week by bursting out into song where appropriate in an almost ‘Mama Mia’ style cringe worthy performance. (Don’t even get me started on the 5 minutes of Mama Mia I had to endure). Following the show, the songs are available to download and buy meaning the songs infiltrate the charts and radio stations too.

The text is sentimental slush that makes my stomach turn appealing only to those who are the same people getting extremely excited about the exceedingly slow staggered release of Britney Spears’ latest video offering that looks more like a tacky advert than a music video. Viewing the program takes up the use of about three brain cells – double that of the shows makers.

Of course each episode offers a moral, whether it is accepting people for who they are or to try not to judge people on first impressions or something along those well worn American teen programming lines. The refusal from artists such as Kings of Leon and Coldplay (who knew they had a level they wouldn’t steep to?) has led to a public argument with the programme’s writers. What they don’t realise is that artists are not obliged to have their music ‘Gleed’ although I don’t think Journey are complaining.

The popularity of this text in Britain scares me, as I wonder if the UK will be making our own version as they have with so many other Americanized shows.

Is Grange Hill still going? Will they replace the spotty teens with new shiny versions with sparkly white teeth that blatantly left school about 8 years ago? Will they burst into song at any opportunity covering classics by the Sex Pistols and The Cure?

Please Gleeks – stop the insanity – you have the power.